Procrasination

So basically I'm writing this because I have tons of homework. My dad has the saying that, during finals week, the toilets are very clean.

No, it's nothing gross. It's just that I have no desire to do any of my work, so I do things that I think have importance...when really they don't...at the time. Here are the things I am behind on

I have missed like 4 days of chemX
I have 5 bye sheets to do for APUSH
I am behind about 90 pages on my APUSH readings
And I'm sleep deprived

Things I have done instead of my homework

wrote on my blog
organized the refrigerator
organized the freezer
organized the pantry
watched tv
hit golf balls
taken a nap

I know I am really productive.
I tried something new today though. I brought in all the candles in my house, and lighted them in my computer room whilst working. It is so much fun. I think I'm going to buy like 40 candles tomorrow.

Have I ever said how much I love writing lists
Its much easier than writing a paper

Da Bucket List

So basically everyday I think of about 7 new things to add to my bucket list. And I will not allow myself to die after I have accomplished every single one of them. All of them are super serious. This isn't a laughing matter:

1. Finish high school- I know, I'm conforming to society
2. Go to college- Still conforming
3. Play golf in college, specifically BYU-Dats mah school! And mah sport!
4. Go to medical school- Because I won't be tired of school yet
5. Become a surgeon (preferably heart or brain)- What, this isn't brain surgery!
6. Get married-Ahhhhh...what...me?...no....yes
7. Give perfect little monster children to the world-Babies...nuff said...modest proposal...heehee...JK...Maybe
8. Go skydiving-yes, it has to be on everybody's list
9. Take a bath in Apple sauce-someone tell me this isn't awesome
10. Travel to every continent-even antarctica
11. Run a marathon-all running, no walking
12. Do an ironman-Ill have fun with this
13. Golf below a 70-maybe someday
14. Get a hole in one-don't worry, it will happen
15. Buy a teacup pic for a pet, or a hedgehog-they are just so darn cute!
16. invent the bullet proof snuggie-no one take my idea...its copywrited...in my head
17. go scuba diving-and come back up alive
18. go on a safari-yay animals!
19. visit George Orwell's grave- duh
20. ride a hot air balloon-this would be kinda scary
21. learn how to play a song on the piano-I tried to the other day, and I spent 5 hours writing all the notes on the keyboard on paper. Then my brother got mad at me and ripped them all off
22. Write a book-or get my thoughts on paper
23. buy a one way tricket to somewhere
24. go to times square on new years eve
25. drive the autoban while reading geographic material-mr. tibesar, anyone?
26. Eat guinea pig-in peru
27. witness a miracle-a walk to remember
28. live in another country-again
29. do something spur of the moment
30. see the seven wonders of the world-I've already seen a few

So these are all I can think of right now, but i will add

The poem that won't offend anyone

This poem that won't offend people reminds me of the most recent parks and recreation where Tom gave absolutely no input towards Leslie's campaign because he didn't want to have a bad idea or offend anyone. Its a funny episode...you should watch it

Kitty Cat

I don't have a kitty
but kittys are nice
so are dogs
and all animals
i love all animals equally
and humans
some people don't like animals
thats ok, you are still my friend
I love everyone and everything
they are nice
and fun
and cool


this is going to be the start of something great. I'm sorry if I offended you with this poem

How far is too far?

So I ran some of my blog topic ideas across my mom, and she was appalled at how risky and inappropriate they were. Now, when we are talking inappropriate, she means talking about farting and pinewood derby dads. She says that if I write about these topics that it will bite me in the butt later (excuse my inappropriate term) because employers and college board people will find my blog and be appalled at what I write, and then I won't get the offer. I'm not going to swear and rip on people, but without a little bit of risk, the writing isn't very interesting.

So how far is too far?

What are the paramaters that I have to stay between (I know we are supposed to be thinking out of the box), and at what point will colleges and jobs start to become skeptical of your values. Would they be horrified if I wrote about farting, or would they comend me for my boldness and creativity?

My spoon

This is just a draft...I don't want to be failed.


I grab the almost empty rice chex from the top shelf of the pantry.
The unopened box of Cinnamon life is relaying memories of happy times we have had with each other.
No, I can't have you, I'm going gluten free now.
I slide over to the bowls and grab the deep red one.
Just the right size so when you put your spoon in, it can't touch the bottom with all the cereal.
I rattle the refrigerator open and pull out the lactose free milk.
The milk that smells like spoiled eggs.
Oh, thats right, your stomach doesn't work, Briana. You can't have lactose or gluten.
Imagine the dispossibilities.
I pour the funny smelling cereal into my bowl.
But its almost empty
The top of the bowl is replaced by sparkly crumbs that taste like pulp
I hate taking the last bowl of cereal.
So I just put the empty box in the pantry again, waiting for the next victim to be filled with happiness, then have their hungry throats slit.
I pour the milk.
It still smells like poo
Then add a nice mountain of sugar on top
Enough so at the end, when I drag my spoon through the bottom, it picks up a mound of sugar
Finally, I open the silverware drawer
The everyday spoons call at me to pick them to help enjoy my meal
But the real prize is in the back
The back is where all the leftover, non matching, misfit silverware goes.
That's where my spoon lives.
It's rounded of squared spoony part molds perfectly into my mouth
Just flat enough so I barely have to open my mouth
It doesn't polk its nose in my mouth, like the others.
Its soft, and gentle, and can pick up twice as many rice chex.
Its an expert picker upper of sugar, and can pick up the sweet little particles that grip the sides of the bowl, in one giant sweep.
Spoon, you make me kind of even like rice chex



Tomorrow I'm going to write about the pinewood derby. hehehehe

Orwell

So I have the orwell cake as the background for my phone, and am sad that no one knows who he is or the awesomeness that he possesses. People just don't understand. I wish I was among my fellow APers.

Things that remind me of AP comp

There were two things that reminded me of our fun filled days of AP comp today

The first one was I got an email from someone and they signed it with their name like this

(insert her name here) J

I was perplexed by the fact that she added a capital J to her name given that her last name doesn't end in a J. Then my mind shot over to the green sheet that we got about emotacons and how if you are writing an email and add a smiley face, it is shown as a capital J. They said that it would make the person who does it look like an idiot, and it kind of did.

Also, I was listening to the radio and they were replaying the presidential debate. Immediately my mind switched into logical fallacy mode. Newt Gingrich made the comment, "there are 94 languages spoken at" so and so university, "and that is why English needs to be our main language."
Oh, I didn't realize that since a university speaks many languages it means that we should speak one language. Logical Fallacy!
They also threw around the word rhetoric a lot, but I think it was so they could sound smarter.